It’s been a while.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had the strength, the energy, the motivation, the mental peace, and the ability to sit here and write something.
I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster these last couple of months. Following the passing of my aunt, I still have those moments of sadness and grief; dealing with this loss has truly taken its toll on me. I still can’t look at her picture, hear her name, or walk into my mom’s room without getting emotional. When the night of her passing flashes through my mind, I ultimately start crying my eyes out as if it were March 19, all over again.
Coming to terms with this loss will take some time.
Like most passings of a loved one, you don’t just get over it the next day, week, or month. You have to allow yourself that time to grieve and heal accordingly.
Now I Exhale
Since completing my PR and Corporate Communications course at Seneca College, this time, I have a better sense of who I am, what I want to do, and what my next steps will be. Since finishing school (for what will hopefully be the last time), I have been lucky enough to secure two jobs in my field and finally say goodbye to retail after ten years of service.
Reflecting on my journey thus far, especially regarding job hunting, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been through my fair share of rejections dating as far back as 2019. I’ve gotten those rejection emails. I’ve had interviews where they took my ideas and applied them, yet never followed up with me to say if they were going to hire me or not. One time, I went to group interview which turned out to be a pyramid scheme.
All-in-all I’ve had my moments of depression and disappointment, thinking I wasn’t good enough. I used to second guess myself and wondered if I belonged in this field.
Although I have my jobs, I still feel nervous and sometimes doubt myself. But, to quote my girl Irissa (hey girl heyyy), she told me, “Nervous is always a good feeling, it means that you care and you want to do good!! So just embrace it all, it’s very exciting!” I carry this message from her near and dear to my heart. It reminds me that what I feel is normal and to embrace this journey that I’m on.
I’m just starting my career, and as much as I want to be perfect at everything, it’s unrealistic. I decided to lift the pressure and overbearing expectations I’ve had for myself and welcome each day as they come. As time goes by, I will get better and become more experienced. Just like other things in life, things take time.
Now I Exhale
Being a young adult trying to make it in the big city (as they like to say) can be a lot. You have to be in touch with who you are and not lose sight of that or your goals.
It’s also important to remember that no two journeys are alike. Everything happens in its time with no set of rules or a how-to guide. Love where you are, embrace it, and take it in full stride!
Shoop, shoop, shoop
Shoop be doop, shoop, shoop
Check out my latest podcast episode HERE.
Much Love & don’t forget to EXHALE!